Webisode 2 – WOOH!
Webisode Two – WOOH!
It’s not exactly all the glitz and glamor the brochure said it would be, but working for WOOH! (rhymes with Pooh, for those of you in the do-it-yourself sound effects department) radio pays the bills.
Danielle Dawson works as the receptionist at WOOH!. According to her job description, she’s supposed to answer every phone call with an enthusiastic “WOOH!” However, after about the eight hundredth time, she starts sounding less like professional wrestling legend Ric Flair and more like sedated comedian Steven Wright. It must lose the thrill after a while.
Today has been a particularly trying one for Danielle. The relentless Chaz Pizzazz has phoned eleven times since one-thirty (she’s guessing that’s when he woke up). He always bombards her with calls when: a) he’s written a new song or b) he’s out of work and has nothing else to do. Today, though, the calls have been especially numerous, so she’s guessing c) all of the above.
But the jokes on her – Chaz is neither prolifically writing a new tune nor is he unemployed. Yet. A big yet, it turns out.
Danielle (answering the phone for the 834th time today)
WOOH! radio! This is Danielle. how may I direct your call?
Chaz (trying to disguise his voice to sound like Jack Nicholson)
I’d like to complain to the programming manager about the music you play at your so-called radio station. It’s old. It’s stale. Don’t you have any Gummi Barez?
Danielle
Nice try, Chaz. (click.)
Nice guy Tyler Starr enters the WOOH office. Danielle, fresh from the Chaz call, sees him and smiles. Something is going well in her life.
Tyler (grinning)
Hey Danielle. I was wondering if you had plans later on this evening? Maybe a movie?
Danielle (smiling pretty)
That sounds lovely. Got anything in mind?
Tyler
Well, there’s a new Matthew McConaughey flick out. Supposed to be the romantic comedy event of the season .
Danielle
I may be over romantic comedies for a while. Anything with explosions?
Before Tyler can answer, the phone rings again. Guess who?
Danielle (answering the phone for the 835th time)
WOOH! This is Danielle. How may I direct your call?
Chaz (trying to disguise his voice to sound like Bob Dylan)
I’d like to speak to the programming manager about why he’s ignoring the Gummi Barez. The demand for Gummi Barez music gets bigger everyday, yet WOOH! radio…
Danielle (interrupting)
Chaz, I’m sorry. I’ve been told not to let your calls through anymore. (She hangs up the phone. Exasperated) That Chaz, I swear he’s driving me crazy.
Tyler
Chaz? Chaz Pizzazz of Gummi Barez fame?
Danielle
Yes. don’t tell me you’re a fan.
Tyler
Oh, I’m a fan all right. I have all their album.
Tyler smirks at his inside joke. It was true, though. Tyler is one of six people who bought the Gummi Barez first offering, Rubber Candy. Chaz, in an ill-advised fit of musical reactionarism, only released his Chew On This on vinyl. It never saw the light of day.
Tyler
Seriously, though. I used to play in Chaz’s band.
Danielle (in disbelief)
Yeah, right.
Tyler
No really. Chaz and I went to high school together. I played keyboards for the Gummi Barez. We were going to be famous. At least, that was the plan.
Danielle
Really? So what happened?
Tyler
Life, I guess. I got a job and gave up the dream. You have to admire Chaz. He’s still believing.
Danielle
You sound like you miss the music biz.
Tyler
Yeah, sometimes.
Danielle (leans over and gives him a quick kiss)
Well, I think you made the right decision. Responsibility is a sexy thing .
Tyler
Yeah?
Danielle (smiling)
Yeah.
Tender moment interruptus. The phone rings again.
Danielle (answering the phone for the 836th time )
WOOH! RADIO! This is Danielle. How may I direct your call?
Chaz (this time trying as Peter Griffin from The Family Guy )
I freakin’ love the freakin’ Gummi Barez.
Danielle
Chaz, I can’t get you any air play, so please stop calling.
Chaz (as Danielle hangs up)
Tough freakin’ crowd.
Tyler
I better let you go. You have important calls to dodge. See you later?
Danielle (beaming)
I’m looking forward to it.
Tyler leaves a happy boy just as Chaz phones in again.
Will Tyler watch a movie that isn’t a chick-flick?
Can Danielle find happiness with a responsible man?
Will Chaz ever get any airplay?
All this and more in the next St. Cyberburg webisodes…
St. Cyberburg 