Webisode 1 – Red Panties To Go
St. Cyberburg
Webisode One: “Red Panties To Go”
It’s 10:30 on Friday night. Most of St. Cyberburg’s young people are out, frequenting the bayside taverns or downtown District dance clubs, continuing the everlasting search for that special someone. Special, at least, for the night.
Tyler Starr, however, is home. He is sitting in front of a computer monitor, gamely trying to track the bug which has eluded him for many days and nights. It’s not like his job depends on it – his job always depends on it. They don’t take kindly to failure at St. CyberNet.
In all honesty, though, it is rather hard to concentrate with all the screams and moans coming from the next room.
His roommate Derek Whitford is home as well. And the screams, it seems, are not emitting from the lungs of Jennifer Lin. These are entirely different screams. A regular occurrence. Derek’s occupation as an physical trainer has afforded him the luxury of bringing a wide variety of lungs into their small two bedroom apartment.
Tyler is getting nothing accomplished. He ventures into the kitchen and opens a Diet Coke. Caffeine is his best friend.
The passion in the next room subsides. A quick scuffle ensues and a pretty, dark-haired woman makes a hasty retreat through Derek’s open bedroom door. She hurries through the apartment and winks at Tyler as she drops her red G-string into her purse.
Woman (calling over her shoulder)
Bye Derek, see you next week.
Derek Whitford
I’ll have to see if I can fit you in…
Woman
Or fit in me. Call me.
She glances at Tyler.
Good-bye, quiet boy.
She giggles and leaves.
Tyler smiles, but doesn’t answer her. He sits on the couch and turns on the television. It’s a Seinfeld rerun. George is whining. Jerry is whining. At least Kramer is keeping his racist views to himself.
Derek, Robe-clad, appears in his doorway. His open doorway, but I think we covered that already.
Derek (laughing)
Hey, pervert! have you been sitting out here listening the whole time?
Tyler (joking back)
Not the whole time. Just when the soprano part started. But seriously, do you really have to leave the door open all the way open?
Derek (still laughing)
Hey, what can I say, the girl was in a hurry. Anyway, I think she enjoyed the audience.
And anyway, I thought you’d be out with what’s-her-name.
Tyler (a little annoyed)
Danielle. No not tonight. She’s out with friends.
Derek
Girlfriend’s busy, huh? Perfect. So why aren’t you out on the prowl? Maybe take a page out of your roomie’s book, know what I mean?
Tyler
I’ve got too much work to do.
Derek (shaking his head)
It’s Friday night, Tyler. You and this computer crap. You’ve got to clock out every once in a while.
Tyler
I’ve just gotta earn a living somehow. The bills pile up.
Derek (smug)
Speaking of. Can you spot me a couple hundred on rent. I’ll pay you next week.
Tyler (resigned)
Yeah, sure.
Derek (smiling)
And on the cable bill too? That’s only fair. I never watch TV.
Tyler (sighs)
Sure.
Derek
Great. Listen, I’m going to grab a shower before Jennifer comes over. I’ve got a second show tonight, know what I mean? So answer the phone if it rings, OK?
Tyler (annoyed still)
I always answer the phone.
Derek (snidely)
That’s right. You never have any reason not to?
Derek departs for the shower, dropping his robe halfway through the living room.
Tyler turns off the television and forces himself back into his room. Back in front of his computer, his screen saver reminds him in large, purple letters to Get a Life.
Will Tyler continue to fork out money to his deadbeat roommate?
Will Jennifer discover Derek’s cheating ways?
Who is this mystery woman? Tyler knows, but does Derek know what he’s gotten himself into?
St. Cyberburg 